


Hit Puree!

by Arctic_Cyclist



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Grayson (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: DickDami Week, DickDamiWeek, Gen, another fluffy ball of fluff, day4 prompt, dickdami, dickdamiweek2016, do he got a booty?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 20:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7984573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arctic_Cyclist/pseuds/Arctic_Cyclist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick and Damian fight pirates, discuss girls, and '80's movies as a method of picking up said girls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hit Puree!

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the Goonies. As always, a mix of pre52 and the Dick and Damian storylines from the nu52. Never the Eternal stories.

"So, let me make sure I understand. Tigershark is a pirate."

"Yes."

"Who hunts the open seas and vast oceans."

"Uh huh."

"And he got away when you were Batman, which wouldn't have happened if I'd been working as your partner instead of Drake."

"Damian, we've talked about that-"

"No names in the field, Nightwing. Then you caught him with Spyral, but your other partner, Tiger, lost him. Which I'm willing to overlook because he's a busy man, and running a spy organization and a girls school can't be easy. Girls are-"

"Whoa." Dick pulls up and stares at his baby brother, swishing his hands to stay still. "Are those hormones I'm finally hearing? Are you starting to notice girls? You like Tiger?"

"He's adequate." Damian replies as he swims by Dick towards the submersible ship. The boy, freshly turned teenager, gives a friendly pat to one of the sharks circling the ship and lets it investigate him. Not interested in teenagers or grown men for its dinner, it swims off, followed by the others that were circling the ship. First line of defense breached with ease.

"Adequate? Adequate?! You called me adequate and I was the best partner you'd ever had. Robin, you aren't planning on running off with one of my exs, are you? Is it because he has a school full of pretty girls that know how to fight and kill?"

"Tt. Not relevant to the conversation, Nightwing."

"Oh, it's relevant. It's very relevant," the man chants as he kicks to catch up to his baby brother.

"No. It's not. We're talking about a pirate, a member of a race of sea people that dates back to the first Egyptian Empire-"

"How do you know that?"

"Tigershark's people have been allied with al Ghuls for almost a thousand years. They are as close to friends with the League as anyone gets." He pauses, treading water with a thoughtful look visible through his diving mask. "That might be a problem. Tigershark was present at my formal presentation as an al Ghul."

Dick pulls up next to his brother and both gaze down at the ship that isn't moving away from them. They look at each other and shrug. Aborting a mission because of an obvious trap has never been how these two Bats roll. 

"So what's your point about Tigershark?" Dick asks as he swims to the preselected point of ingress. Damian swims around to investigate the other options . 

"Why isn't this Aquaman's problem?"

"He's too busy to deal with him, and there's some old treaty he's been advised not to violate."

"The Cuthulu contract is real?" Damian says as he swims back with a shake of his head and Dick starts working on breaking the hatch seal. "Well that's a good reason for him to not get involved." 

Damian follows Dick into the small decompression chamber and pulls the hatch shut. Vents run to drain the water away as Dick starts working on the next door. "I have another, more important question."

"Shoot." Dick says as they squeeze through the door and tumble into a heavily armed group of pirates. Nothing lethal, he notes, not only is it a trap, but it's aiming at taking them alive. Given that most of them are aiming at Damian, he's pretty sure which one of them is actually the goal.

Damian flips out of the way of a launched net, kicking the pirate who got caught instead in the solar plexus to knock the wind out of him. "Since this is a pirate ship and Tigershark is a pirate," he asks, dislocating the thumb of the man who almost grabbed Dick and then planting his foot in the man's face, "does he have booty on it?"

"What?"

"Do he got a booty? Pirates always have booties, if movies are to be believed."

They pause and survey the twenty moaning or unconscious men, and then turn as one to open the next door and dodge the awaiting men. Dick's a little insulted by the lack of women, it's the twenty-first century, even pirates should know how deadly women fighters can be. A talk with Talia, back when she decided to introduce Bruce to her dad via the wonderful world of kidnapped sidekicks, springs to mind. Damian's family has been training female assassins, in fact many of the top ones have been women, since the days of Saladin. One would think Tigershark would catch up by now.

"Probably, but why does it matter? You're rich."

"I might want to save a town from developers without being obvious about it. You know, like in the movies. A group of kids go out for the weekend, fight bad guys, find treasure, and so on. It'd be fun to plant for a weekend adventure. Or something.

Dick leaps up from between two pirates, slapping their heads together. Yep. Those are hormones he's hearing, and he know which group of kids Damian is talking about. Babs and Tim both told him about Maps. Which is better than Maya, not that he doesn't love Maya, he does, but she's likely to disappear on them and take his baby brother with her. Maps has strong ties to Gotham and can keep him and Maya in Gotham. Not that a thirteen year old should be tied down. He's still hoping to nurture the Supergirl crush. Flying nieces and nephews would be the best thing ever.

"Or something." Dick says as Damian morphs into an awkward adolescent who can still kick ass even as he turns a bright copper color. "Sure. If there's a booty you can have it to impress girls with. Or boys," he adds as Damian shoots him a glare. "Just don't run off and join a super secret spy agency to met girls. Or boys."

"It worked for you."

Dick stumbles, and the next wave takes advantage of it. Oh, those are hormones. He can't wait to tell Bruce and warn Tim.


End file.
